If only I had had an idea of some of the signs of autism, I would have watched my daughter more keenly — and probably would have spotted the early signs long before she turned six. It would have helped me bond better with my own child. Awareness of autism is growing, and that awareness has reshaped our understanding of the spectrum. According to the CDC, 1 in 189 girls and 1 in 42 boys are affected by the condition.
Realising that my daughter is autistic led me deep into research on the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). The concern of most parents is the same: how to discover the condition early enough to care for their children well.
Several studies have shown that early therapeutic training can improve the learning capability of children on the spectrum — including their ability to cope with stress, social situations, and overstimulation.
I must say this quickly: the signs differ from one child to another, and so does their timing. Some children begin to show signs as early as 18 months, while others remain undetected until two or three years of age. Some children show less common signs altogether. To help parents, I have gathered the early signs that can tell you whether your child may be autistic.
1. Little or No Interaction
By nature, children are deeply social — even as toddlers. They laugh, they play with any object that comes within their grip. Toddlers are keen observers, which is why they giggle when you pull a face at them.
Babies on the autism spectrum have more difficulty following eye contact or responding to a parent's words. According to a report from the National Institute of Mental Health, autistic children more frequently do not listen to, or look at, other people. It is an easy sign for a parent to overlook — just as I did.
2. Difficulty Responding to Their Name
Every child learns at their own pace. Still, most children begin to recognise and respond to their name before they are a year old. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), if your child still cannot respond to their name by 12 months of age, you should consider the possibility of autism.
I remember when my daughter was a year and a few months old — I would call her, and sometimes she simply wouldn't respond. I told myself it was the usual thing with kids. It saddened me a little at times, but I kept reassuring myself she would come around someday.
3. Unusual Quietness
Whenever I visited friends, I would find their babies babbling away. It's true that many children don't begin talking until after their first year, but they imitate what adults say — which is exactly why they babble so much. Their babbling can be great fun to watch.
My daughter, though, was mostly quiet as a baby — except when she cried for food or hurt herself. I used to think I was lucky, because a baby's babbling can be distracting; I spend most of my leisure time writing, and I prefer quiet. But according to the CDC, delayed language and speech skills are among the difficulties someone with ASD may face.
The Signs in Toddlers Are Not So Different From Babies
As babies grow into toddlers, the signs of autism do not change so much as become more pronounced — and new ones may appear. The most obvious sign I noticed in my daughter as she grew was that she preferred playing by herself to playing with others.
She preferred to be alone.
There was a day I took her to the park. She was about two years old then. It was a well-organised park that grouped children by age, and she was placed with about six other children of hers — yet she kept entirely to herself. A carer was with them, teaching the group an imitation game.
For the brief time I watched, I noticed my daughter was off on her own. The other children studied the teacher and tried to copy her; my daughter kept her eyes fixed on the ground. The truth is, it never crossed my mind that difficulty with socialising could be a sign of something greater — after all, some people are simply introverts and others extroverts.
When I came to pick her up, the carer told me my daughter had been very quiet, and that she was worried she might not be happy. She hadn't liked how hard my daughter found it to imitate her like the other kids did. In her words, my daughter "seemed disconnected and would not return a wave or a smile."
Minor Things Upset Autistic Toddlers
As your child grows into a toddler, you may notice they become upset over things you would consider trivial. Most children want to be cuddled when they cry — but it is a different story for many autistic children. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, autistic children find it hard to communicate their inner distress, and that struggle is usually the true source of their frustration.
I also noticed that my daughter found it difficult to adjust to new environments. She preferred consistency. Whenever we were somewhere unfamiliar, she would flap her hands a great deal — and it was only recently that I learned hand-flapping is one of the early signs of autism.
Children with autism are also intensely sensitive to sensation. My daughter would go to any length to keep her face out of the sun, yet she loved the feeling of the wind on her cheeks. Other things she hated: getting dressed or undressed, taking her bath, and being covered with blankets.
Early signs worth watching for
- Little or no eye contact, listening, or looking at other people.
- No response to their own name by 12 months.
- Unusual quietness — little of the typical babbling.
- A strong preference for playing alone; not imitating others.
- Distress at trivial changes; resisting cuddles when upset.
- Hand-flapping in unfamiliar environments.
- Strong sensory likes and dislikes — sun, wind, dressing, bathing, blankets.
If several of these feel familiar, please talk to your pediatrician. Early help changes everything — start with how autism is diagnosed.
